Clearing Process: A Tool for Healthy Relationships

In the world we live in, maintaining healthy relationships can be challenging. Whether it’s with our partners, parents, friends, or colleagues, miscommunication, pent-up emotions, and unresolved issues can accumulate over time and create barriers in our connections. Thankfully, there is a powerful tool known as “clearing” that can help break down these barriers and foster more open, honest, and understanding relationships.

What is Clearing?

Clearing is a process that allows individuals in a relationship to express their feelings, concerns, and thoughts in a controlled and safe environment. It provides an opportunity for each person involved to share what is and isn’t working for them without fear of judgment. Whether it’s in a romantic relationship, among family members, or within a group of friends or colleagues, clearing sessions can help establish stronger bonds and deeper connections.

The essence of clearing lies in creating a non-reactive space where each participant can speak and be heard without interruption or immediate response. This controlled atmosphere allows for the exploration of emotions, thoughts, and concerns in a thoughtful and compassionate manner.

The Clearing Process

To ensure a successful clearing session, certain guidelines should be followed:

• Choose a Quiet Space: Find a peaceful location free from distractions, such as cell phones or other interruptions. The absence of external disturbances fosters better focus and enhances the overall experience.
• Open Minds and Hearts: Ensure that everyone involved is in the right frame of mind to actively listen without judgment. An open and receptive mindset paves the way for genuine understanding and growth.
• Practice Committed Listening: During the clearing session, it’s vital for the other parties to refrain from responding. Instead, adopt the role of a committed listener, giving the speaker the space to express themselves fully. Acknowledge their feelings.

The Power of Sharing Feelings

One crucial aspect of the clearing process is to focus on expressing our feelings rather than blaming or criticising the other person. Sharing how we feel when someone says or does something allows for a deeper understanding of the impact of their actions or words on us. This approach brings several benefits to the clearing session:

Empathy and Understanding

When we share our feelings, it creates an opportunity for the other person to empathise with us and see the situation from our perspective. By conveying the emotional impact of their actions, they can gain insight into how their behaviour influences our emotions and well-being. This understanding can lead to increased sensitivity and consideration in their future interactions.

Building Emotional Connection

Sharing our feelings fosters emotional intimacy in the relationship. It allows us to be vulnerable with one another, promoting a sense of trust and closeness. When we communicate how certain actions make us feel, it shows that we trust the other person enough to share our innermost emotions, reinforcing the bond between us.

Promoting Positive Change

By focusing on our feelings rather than blaming the other person, we create a non-confrontational environment that is conducive to positive change. When someone understands the impact of their behaviour on us, they are more likely to reflect on their actions and make an effort to improve their communication and actions in the future.

Taking Ownership of Our Emotions

Expressing our feelings in a clear and non-accusatory manner helps us take ownership of our emotions. It is essential to acknowledge that while someone’s actions may have triggered certain emotions in us, we are ultimately responsible for our reactions. By sharing our feelings, we can work towards understanding and managing our emotions better.

Framing Constructive Feedback

When we talk about how we feel when someone does or says something, it can be seen as constructive feedback rather than an attack. This approach encourages open communication and avoids putting the other person on the defensive. When feedback is delivered with empathy and compassion, it is more likely to be received positively and have a lasting impact.

Avoiding Assumptions and Misunderstandings

Often, when we tell someone what is wrong with them, it can lead to misunderstandings and assumptions about their intentions. By focusing on our feelings, we eliminate the risk of making unfair judgments and provide an opportunity for the other person to clarify their intentions or actions.

Suggested Questions for Clearing Sessions

While the clearing process can be adapted to suit specific situations or group dynamics, here are some suggested questions that can help initiate the conversation:

• What Is Not Working for You at the Moment?: This question allows individuals to express their concerns or grievances without fear of confrontation or argument. It encourages them to be open and honest about the challenges they are facing in the relationship.
• What Is Working for You at the Moment?: Positively reinforcing the aspects that are functioning well in the relationship can bring a sense of appreciation and recognition. It helps build on the strengths and encourages continued positive behaviour.
• What Are You Carrying?: This question delves into the emotional baggage that individuals might be carrying, which can impact their interactions with others. Identifying and addressing emotional burdens can lead to healing and growth within the relationship.

Adapting Clearing to Specific Situations

It’s important to note that clearing sessions can be adapted to suit the unique dynamics of each relationship. The questions can be tailored to address specific challenges or objectives. Additionally, the frequency and length of clearing sessions can be adjusted according to the needs and availability of the individuals involved.

In Conclusion

Clearing is a powerful tool that can foster healthy, thriving relationships among couples, parents, friends, and colleagues. By providing a controlled and safe space for open communication, it allows individuals to express themselves without judgment and enables active listening from others. Sharing our feelings during the clearing process adds a layer of empathy and understanding, promoting conflict resolution and building emotional connections.

Incorporating clearing into your relationships can be a transformative experience, leading to deeper intimacy, improved communication, and a more profound sense of empathy and compassion for one another. Remember, healthy relationships require effort and care, and clearing offers an excellent avenue for building and nurturing those connections. Let us embrace this tool for healthier, more fulfilling relationships in all aspects of our lives.